Entertainment Evaluators T-Shirts

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Rodin's Irish Judge

Woke Jersey Shore

Trustworthy Authority.

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

'Rent two 'feel good' movies, and call me in the morning.'

It's well done, but I find it hard to stay interested since they cut down to just 13 episodes per season.

Charlie Chaplin

Critics In Love

Distancing with the Stars

Dolly Parton

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

"Has it been in your family long?"

A new TV format: "The day after the funniest home videos".

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko.

"I think it's an early version of facebook."

'I do great voice-overs.'

Ken Dodd

"Nice of you to bring wine, but we don't drink anything that sells for under a dollar a gallon."

"I really think it’s time for Madonna to let the dream die."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

What're you watching on your me-phone? "Batman v Superman" bootleg. That reminds me of the time Adam West caught me and George Reeves smooching in the woods. Adam and I had been over for weeks, but he was still insanely jealous. Adam who and George what? They should outlaw anyone under 40. Anyone seen any woods around here?

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

"It's not fair. I'm a celebrity. Half the stuff written about me isn't even true."

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.