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Woke Jersey Shore

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.

Another cretinous dating show

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

Trump commissions song

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

'And who are you wearing?'

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

Trustworthy Authority.

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

New Course At The New School

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"