Film Industry Analyst T-Shirts

Roman Polanski to the Rescue

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I'm the bad guy..."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

100 best beheadings

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Hollywood Breakup

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Hollywood or bust!

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Lord of the Rings IV.

Welcome to Hollywood

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

Restraining orders from the stars.

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"He's the exception: a fly on the wall who made it big in blockbuster movies."

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

Jennifer Lawrence

Melanie Griffith