Film Industry Analyst Prints

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I'm the bad guy..."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

100 best beheadings

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Hollywood Breakup

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Hollywood or bust!

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Welcome to Hollywood

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

Woke Jersey Shore

"I see you do all your own stunts."

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

Restraining orders from the stars.