Movie Industry Insider Prints

"..And the best product placement in a film award goes to..."

'California is so show-biz! - First we elect an evil robot from the future, and then we replace him with a crazy zombie from the past.'

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

Lord of the Rings IV.

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'And who are you wearing?'

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

Antonio Banderas

Quentin Tarantino

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

Distancing with the Stars

'I thought Jennifer Anniston made a new movie but after seeing it I'm pretty sure they just keep playing the same one every other year.'

'Dirty, lesbian, whore, bitch, gang bangs turned out to be Finding Nemo!'

'Anthony Hopkins will be offered the role of Saddam Hussein in a new Jessica Lynch movie.'

Loyal Opposition

The Murdochs '. . . Wendi, this channel'snot plugging any newscorp interests!'

Showbiz

"Listen, I'm speaking to you not just as your agent, but also as a parasite."

"First, I storyboarded it."

What can I get you? An explanation about why Disney can't do what we all want the to do … and have the folks who made Rogue One go back and remake the super-lame Star Wars prequel trilogy. Would you like the inaccurate explanation or the accurate one? Inaccurate would be lovely, please. It's too soon to remake "Phantom Menace." Plus it'd be confusing. Besides, the prequels were good enough. What're you talking about? It's been 18 years since "Phantom Menace." And movies get rebooted all the time