Entertainment Evaluators Pillows

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Rodin's Irish Judge

Woke Jersey Shore

Trustworthy Authority.

'Rent two 'feel good' movies, and call me in the morning.'

Critics In Love

Distancing with the Stars

Dolly Parton

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

"Has it been in your family long?"

A new TV format: "The day after the funniest home videos".

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

"Nice of you to bring wine, but we don't drink anything that sells for under a dollar a gallon."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"I really think it’s time for Madonna to let the dream die."

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

The Ultimate Reality TV

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.

"It's not fair. I'm a celebrity. Half the stuff written about me isn't even true."