Entertainment Analysis Gifts

"Que crazy! All these 'reality tv' shows are so phony! People fighting...calling each other names...making enemies! Why can't they be more realistic...like the characters on my telenovela!"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

The Rooster Comedian.

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Champagne

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Television Readers.

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Cow Show Tunes

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cord cutter

"Bloody hell!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference