Enlightened Eaters Gifts

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Is it free-range?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'Rob is a vegan.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Fridge-to-table"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

Factory Farmers.