Engagement Comic Lover Gifts

"Look, Mama! I'm not a liability any more."

"Yes, I'll marry you, but you understand you'll have to clean up your den right?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

No-Work Orange

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Zeus's Caddy

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."