Engagement Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

He wasn't a bad guy, just easily distracted.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"They're comfortable."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"She wishes to range free!"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

How Amazon was invented

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.