Engaged Educator Gifts

'I'm afraid your daughter isn't paying attention in class.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Campaign for Plain English

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

The Evolution Of Man.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive..."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

Blend Schools

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

Turning around - searching for why hate happens.

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"