Dedicated Educators Gifts

"Let's check the attendance for a third time just to be sure."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Campaign for Plain English

Burning the midnight oil.

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

The Evolution Of Man.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Home Schooling'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"I just want to go home, crawl into bed, and do some more work."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"