End Of Life Preparation Gifts

"Don't mention it."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Death coach..."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Heaven

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

Tom's last day.

Closed Thursdays.

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"Have a seat!"

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

'What's the pass-word?'

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

O'Leary's Monuments

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'

'Put it on my tab.'