End Of Life Preparations Gifts

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Death coach..."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

Heaven

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Tom's last day.

Closed Thursdays.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"Don't mention it."

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"Have a seat!"

'What's the pass-word?'

O'Leary's Monuments

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

"Did you do all of this for me?"

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'

Welcome to Heaven, a Gated Community.

"When euphemism time comes which would you prefer - 'passed away' or should I just say that he boxed?"