End-of-life Decisions Gifts

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'He wanted an ethical funeral, so I made use of the old laundry basket.'

"Why bother?"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Death coach..."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Heaven

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

Euthanasia Clinic

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Move Up In The World or Down Hill All The Way.

Tom's last day.

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

Closed Thursdays.

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

"Don't mention it."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"Have a seat!"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

"The test results were inconclusive, we should know more after the autopsy."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

"Did you do all of this for me?"