End Of Life Gifts

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'

'Dying doesn't scare me - it's you people.'

"You were always my favorite to manipulate."

Everyday Hospice

"Don't think for a minute that I've mellowed!"

'Then suddenly all my aches and pains stopped and here I am!'

'All right then, we'll call yesterday's last words the next-to-last words.'

I find Mr. Barkis going out with the tide

Welcome to Heaven, a Gated Community.

'Oh dear. I don't know a soul.'

'R.I.P. - At last uncluttered.'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

'Of course I'm frightened, I just thought you would be bigger.'

All Carry-In Items Will Be Subject to Search

"Doctor, I would have like to win enough money in the lottery for the rest of my life..."

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"It was a dark and stormy life. . ."

Heaven

"Not a mention and I was chairman of that golf club for over ten years!"

It's time for me to die Herb. Can you help me up to that light fixture?

'What do you mean you forgot to back up my life?'

'But father, surely you're not planning to die poor.'

'Pig flu??!'

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

'My last wish is to be buried in organic soil.'

"Regrets? Yeah. I didn't live long enough to cherry-pick my cable channels."

"Your life flashing before your eyes" "Skip recap"

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

"I never wore khakis."

"Nana, it's fine if those are your final words, but it's also OK if you want to take another stab at them."

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."