Death Gifts

'My wife insisted this is where I spread her ashes.'

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

Death Online

"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."

Life's Boxes

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

The three stages of modern life.

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Everything seemed to be going fine, but then he took a walk on the wild side and was hit by an 'eighteen wheeler'.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Showbiz Awards

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Life is for the birds.