Death Prints

'My wife insisted this is where I spread her ashes.'

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

The three stages of modern life.

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Everything seemed to be going fine, but then he took a walk on the wild side and was hit by an 'eighteen wheeler'.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Showbiz Awards

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

On holiday.

Life is for the birds.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."