End-of-life Planning Pillows

"He won the right to die without dignity."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Burial or cremation?"

"What will it take to put one of you two into a brand-new Eterna-5000 today?"

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

"For just once in your life can you please make a positive decision, Norman - what's it to be, burial or cremation?"

"It's the Will of the People"

Ignitas

O'Leary's Monuments

"100 things to do before you die - number 1 - book a plane to Switzerland."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'He's determined to get his money's worth out of it before he dies.'

Cremation Services: Think out of the box!

'We have to get permission from the city if you want your ashes scattered over the city dump.'

"Here you acknowledge the fact that, by opting for cremation, you forfeit the option to be a cool skeleton in a documentary 20,000 years from now."

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."

"Would you like to save 10 percent today by opening a Palmer Funeral Home account?"

Pre-paid funeral plan survey

"I hardly think you'll warrant an invitation-only funeral."

"Fred said he wants his ashes mingled with Daisy's ashes. He said not a word about my ashes!"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Death coach..."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"Adolescencia"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Efficiency tombs available"