End-of-life Arrangements Pillows

Self-Service Funeral

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"It's extra roomy so you can roll over more easily."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Death coach..."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Heaven

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

"Have a seat!"

"Don't mention it."

"Well...in that case you could consider our eco burial."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

"Did you do all of this for me?"

O'Leary's Monuments

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'