Afterlife Planning Pillows

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."