Afterlife Planning Pillows

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Death coach..."