Afterlife Advisors Pillows

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

Gates of heaven

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Postcards from Heaven...

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."