Afterlife Advisors Pillows

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

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A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Postcards from Heaven...

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"