End-of-life Planning T-Shirts

"He won the right to die without dignity."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Burial or cremation?"

"What will it take to put one of you two into a brand-new Eterna-5000 today?"

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

"For just once in your life can you please make a positive decision, Norman - what's it to be, burial or cremation?"

"It's the Will of the People"

Ignitas

O'Leary's Monuments

"100 things to do before you die - number 1 - book a plane to Switzerland."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'He's determined to get his money's worth out of it before he dies.'

Cremation Services: Think out of the box!

'We have to get permission from the city if you want your ashes scattered over the city dump.'

"Here you acknowledge the fact that, by opting for cremation, you forfeit the option to be a cool skeleton in a documentary 20,000 years from now."

That's right, this brochure will help you preselect your final shoebox so your kids won't have to.

What're the old folks doing? Mort and Sadie? Death planning. What's that? The new thing, my uncle tells me. All these aging folks are detailing what they want to happen to their bodies. Like burial or cremation? Way, way beyond that. I will donate my heart and lungs, but no one – no one! - touches my pancreas. My vocal cords go to science.

Death planning is all the rage, sweetie. Besides, it's the right thing to do. We've got to detail what we want to happen in case of various eventualities, like if we get really sick. Do we want to be revived? What measures do we want them to take to sustain life? Do we demand in inquiry into whether Sean Hannity caused our deaths? I wrote that in the section marked other. From inspiring excessive lust?

We've put it off long enough. Tomorrow. Nope. I got you sugary snacks, and unhooked the television. Devil. C'mon, it'll be fun. I guess. It is morbid. Time to do our death plan! Ooh, peanut butter cups.

We picked out headstones. Now we're both trying to outlive each other. I'm with stupid.

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."

"Would you like to save 10 percent today by opening a Palmer Funeral Home account?"

Pre-paid funeral plan survey

"I hardly think you'll warrant an invitation-only funeral."

"Fred said he wants his ashes mingled with Daisy's ashes. He said not a word about my ashes!"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Death coach..."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy