Employment Law Aficionado Gifts

'We'll save a fortune in employment tribunals.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"We need a union!'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"