Employment Law Enthusiast Gifts

'You're a credit to this firm, Miss Button and through no fault of your own you're also a liability.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"What impertinence! You want to be paid as much as the men? Isn't it enough that you're treated as badly as your male colleagues?"

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

'That's not a period...that's an epoch.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We need a union!'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Violent Crime Statistics

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Lady Justice.

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.