Employment Law Enthusiast Gifts

'You're a credit to this firm, Miss Button and through no fault of your own you're also a liability.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"What impertinence! You want to be paid as much as the men? Isn't it enough that you're treated as badly as your male colleagues?"

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

'That's not a period...that's an epoch.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

"We need a union!'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'