Employment Law Fanatic Gifts

'This is considered "other duties as assigned".'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We need a union!'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Lady Justice.

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."