Empiricism Gifts

"Ooh, get the quantum theorist hiding behind that tree."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

'We must construct our own large hadron collider so that we can obtain results that are consistent with our cultural heritage.'

A mad scientist.

August Comte

Myth Diagnosis

A candidate for a job in scientific research being tested for whether she is too impressionable for unbiased independent thinking.

Problem solving centre.

'Malcolm is unswayed by post-foundationalist trendiness.'

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

"What do the know!"

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'...And a bottle of Bollinger '61 if you please Fred...'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"The person who is certain he is right is certain to be wrong."

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Self examination.

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

Halloween pumpkin

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

Karl Popper and Plato

A bitcoin magician removes skepticism from an investor's ear.

"Sorry, I really don't believe in it...I'm a Scorpio and you know that we're naturally sceptical..."

Alchemist - name and ate unknown: 'At the Transylvania Conference, everyone was claiming to have the philosopher's stone. As chair of the select committee on turning lead into gold, I expect to have conclusive report within a decade or two.'

When alchemy faded, chemistry began. When herbalism faded, medical science began. When astrology faded, space exploration began. I can't wait to see what happens after religion fades.

Go to meeting, Zoom, remote learning, embeddable video, skypting. . . and you still haven't mastered your VCR.

"Today on Zoom she was like, 'I really think everything's going to be okay,' and I'm like, 'I always knew she was a conspiracy theorist!'"

"You will now open your eyes and have no memory of me charging you twice for this session!"

"That dude won't last the first day!"

Hey! Everybody makes mistakes.