Empirical Evidence Lover Gifts

When alchemy faded, chemistry began. When herbalism faded, medical science began. When astrology faded, space exploration began. I can't wait to see what happens after religion fades.

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Big Data Tonight

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

Scientists building a tower

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

Likes Charts Likes Pie

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

Documentation Please

August Comte

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

Gamma Ray Lab/Gamma Ray Shielding Materials Lab

'Professor, what's the antimatter?'

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

"There's got to be a better way to make butter."

The statistician marrying the probability expert...