Empire Management Gifts

"Perhaps the Nervii are up in arms. Maybe our envoys to Britain have been ambushed. HOw am I suppose to run an empire without a cordless phone?"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

Team Leader

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Project Manager Showdown

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Who the hell is responsible for this no-blame culture???"

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Someday son, all this will be yours...if someone doesn't take us over.'

VEGETATE.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'When we started the company it was just a little cottage industry.' 'Megaco Incorporated.'