Emotional Moments Appreciator Pillows

'Don't cry, Mother �' you'll make your nose (hic!) red!'

Showbiz Awards

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Sitting in a tree

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

Speed Dating Disasters

"Are you blushing?!"

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Windchimes

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

How to injury yourself as an adult

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sweaty hand is grossing me out."

Life is just four letters...

'Maybe you should try crying on the OUTSIDE....'

Of course, you do --- Yu have mixed feelings about everything!

Man asking lady if she cares for him

"Cruz, I didn't send flowers to Rayna! We haven't dated in forever! Ever since I joked about calling her Anne Droid."