Emotional Investors Pillows

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

The Book Lover

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"If your emotional intelligence is so high, why do you always forget our anniversary?"

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

'Dad, are we rich?'

"Die alone"

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'I used to equate love with money. Now I equate it with fast-moving growth stocks.'

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

'It was love at first sight!'

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

'How much are you currently worth? Good question, let's see. You mean, aside from the sentimental value?'

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"What do I want to do? I want to do what you want to do and then resent you for being controlling."

"O.K., you told me so. May I continue."

'How many are just staying together for the kids? OK, that's good, very good.'

"Need hug."

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"