Emotional Economist Gifts

'But, sweetheart, if mummy didn't work so many extra hours she couldn't afford to buy you treats...'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

Psychology Clinic: Now Treating - How to Handle Stock Market Drops Without Selling!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

The Book Lover

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"Enough already! You’re depressing me!"

'You are crazy, but in a NICE way.'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

Spirit of love

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

Master Mum

"Yes, I can see where being Wendy's invisible friend all those years, and then her growing up could cause separation anxiety."

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

'I used to equate love with money. Now I equate it with fast-moving growth stocks.'

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'How much are you currently worth? Good question, let's see. You mean, aside from the sentimental value?'

"My brain can no longer maintain the intense neural activity of infatuation."

"What do I want to do? I want to do what you want to do and then resent you for being controlling."