Emergency Scenario Lover Gifts

"Um...does anyone have any experience in CPR or aeroplane driving."

"Little help?"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"We have a favor to ask."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"It's marzipan pigs."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"My God, now what?"

Fire Backwards.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"I've got a pulse!"

Why dogs hate CPR.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"We ran into a marathon."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'