Emergency Scenario Junkie Gifts

Today Was The Day

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Tsunami Evac Route

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"My God, now what?"

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

"I've got a pulse!"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"We ran into a marathon."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

Public Enemy #1: Coronavirus Panic

"Last question, and how would you rate the ambulance response time to today's accident?"

Water Drop with a Surprise