Embracing Parenthood Gifts

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

'I think Kenny's finally accepted fatherhood - he said he was off to play football with the kids.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Growth Charts

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Baby Screen Time

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

"We have the exact same taste."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Young Gums

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Mime Baby

"We need to find another fall activity to do with the kids."