Embracing Modern Living Pillows

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Crap from the future.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

Fur Baby

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Tunnel of TV

i-teddy