Embracer Of The Natural Pillows

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"You had me at alternative milk."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

The shape of things to come

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

"I've got pride but no shame."

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

New Normal

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

Salman Rushdie

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

"Aging disgracefully is much more fun."

Let It All Hang Out In Celebration. . .

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

The Artist

"Does my bump look big in this"

'What's happiness, it can't buy money.'

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"

"My support group told me to embrace my mistakes."

An old man walking towards his grave

"Bedtime! It's nice to be getting dressed."