Email Humorists Gifts

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Chasebook

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

My Spam Sketchbook

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Advertising on the internet.

Facebook For Dogs.

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

Catroom.

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"Is that a finger?"

"I sell them for Website names."

You've got snail.

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."