Email Culture Gifts

'At least the boss knows your name. His memo says, 'If Syms were an e-mail, I'd delete him.''

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Lynching on social media

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Music downloads

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait