Emails Gifts

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

'Happy Father's Day....send all.'

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'Next time you use the firms intranet to send a Valentines message remember to avoid the 'send all' key.'

'Email'

'I finally got rid of all my junk mail.' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'On reflection, I miss the false sense of popularity.'

'The principal will be with you shortly. He still has a few e-mail jokes to read.'

'And this little e-mail went 'Re: Re: Re:' all across the subject line.'

'To see if my husband is cheating, I have to check his pockets, wallet and NOW his E-MAIL!'

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Email Mistakes

Oughta reply

"I used to hate spam until I figured out how to make $78,000,000 sending it."

"I joined a seniors' computer group. They send me a newsletter to help us better understand the benefits and conveniences of these things."

"I see you sitting at your computer. Now you are opening up your email. You see a strange email with an attachment. Don't open it! Oh no, what have you done?"

"Can I borrow your PC kev? I need to e-mail myself some valentines."

"The computer's not about to blow up.I've got email."

"That's it, now press, 'Reply-All' and bingo! Everybody's prayers have been answered."

"Why don't you want your Dad emailing from your computer... are those stamps?"

"I'm deleting my spam email. To save time, my email automatically puts all my spam in this special folder."

It's only an email, what harm can it do?

Guess what I found?

"I have a real love/hate relationship with email."

"Sir, Hagstrom is craving some attention again. Shall we email him the canteen menu and mark it 'URGENT'?"

"You have two unread messages."

"I've still got 4 more trees and 2 fire hydrants to go. I hate 'Reply All.'"

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

Then: phone static. Now: email spam filters.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'