Email Communication Gifts

"Does she mean LOL funny or LOL strange?"

'I noticed you sent an e-mail to your friend Nancy saying that I was nosy.'

'Thank you for your enquiry. This is an automated response...'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Lance, what does "NSFW" stand for? "Not Safe For Work." It means that if I open this filthy e-mail at work and my boss is looking over my shoulder, I'll get fired, bit if I open it at home and the wolverine is looking over my shoulder, I'm fine.

How to apply for a job, then vs. now

'Regarding your e-mailed statements for my retirement account - all this time I thought 'lol' meant 'lots of loot'!'

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

'There's an email for you, it said not to print it out!'

'There's no easy way to say, 'You're Fired,' so I'm sending you an e-mail instead.'

'My son is away at college majoring in communication. When he sends me an email message, I have to run it through the spell checker before it makes sense to me.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Out and In.

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'