Elmo Lovers Pillows

"That'll be five bucks."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

'My final offer.'

The African Plains during the 70's.

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

'Our limo's here.'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

Eating the Evidence

"I would love to get my hands on the official who sent him home on gardening leave!"

Lemming meringue pie.

'I don't care if he followed you home-we're not keeping him!'

Running Mate

"Okay you try going under and I'll go over."

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but, if it does, raise your trunk or something.'

Emo

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

Statue of Liberty holding energy saving light bulb.

Repossessed Properties.

'OK, I wanna see those trunks move! Left, right, left, right...'

"It's easy, Santa. Swipe left for naughty and right for nice."

Bob and Debbie, the lives of the party...

Emo Snail

'It's embarrassing. I can't seem to remember anything . . . short-term or long-term!'

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."