Emo Enthusiast Pillows

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

'Is it just me, or do you feel kind of EMO sometimes?'

What TV Shows Think 12 Year Old Girls Are Like/Me at 12.

Finding Emo.

'Where's your self-hurt section?'

"How about an EMO girl?"

Emo Snail

Emo

Finding Emo

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'Bert's dog training.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Oymoticons

Sale! Weed Whackers

Obsession with the Internet.

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

WTF?

Alternative Medicine

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."