Emo Enthusiast Pillows

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

'Is it just me, or do you feel kind of EMO sometimes?'

What TV Shows Think 12 Year Old Girls Are Like/Me at 12.

Finding Emo.

'Where's your self-hurt section?'

"How about an EMO girl?"

Emo Snail

Emo

Finding Emo

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'Bert's dog training.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Oymoticons

Sale! Weed Whackers

Obsession with the Internet.

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Alternative Medicine

WTF?

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'