Elmo Lovers T-Shirts

"That'll be five bucks."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'I told you it would fit.'

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

'My final offer.'

The African Plains during the 70's.

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

'Our limo's here.'

Eating the Evidence

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

"I would love to get my hands on the official who sent him home on gardening leave!"

Lemming meringue pie.

'I don't care if he followed you home-we're not keeping him!'

Emo

Running Mate

"Okay you try going under and I'll go over."

Can't you put away your cell phone? Just seeing if Nick's at the prom already. U there yet? Almost!

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but, if it does, raise your trunk or something.'

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'OK, I wanna see those trunks move! Left, right, left, right...'

Statue of Liberty holding energy saving light bulb.

Repossessed Properties.

"It's easy, Santa. Swipe left for naughty and right for nice."

Bob and Debbie, the lives of the party...

Clown getting out of car.

'It's embarrassing. I can't seem to remember anything . . . short-term or long-term!'