Elevator Small Talk Expert Pillows

"You look sharp, like a carefully aged Cheddar."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Going Down?

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Thumbing a Lift.

Elevator charge $1.00.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

The guy who got in on the ground floor

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

Santa Elevator

A Fork-lift.

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'Going up?'

"This thing is so slow!"

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"How small will he get?"

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.