Elder Care Enthusiasts Pillows

"That's amazing! Didn't Mr. Perez used to walk all bent over? How'd you cure him?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Breast Height Chart

"Careful."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Fetch the Walker

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

Caution Student Driver.

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."