Senior Care Aficionado Pillows

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Ed's receding hairline!

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Old Frogs' Home

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

New more powerful, furniture polish.

STRIP *Community Care * Change

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'