Elder Care Critic Gifts

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Duel in a wheelchair.

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"Someone to see you!"

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."