Ego Humorist Pillows

"If I were a narcissist, I assure you I would be the first to know!"

And the trophy goes to Frank and only Frank

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

Poser

The Rooster Comedian.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Yep, that one does, too." "For heaven's sake, Bob, they all look like fart emojis."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"She looks just like in your photos."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

Advertising on the internet.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Facebook For Dogs.

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

Dummies for Dummies.

The Boss.

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"