Ego Commentator Pillows

Donald Trump Celebrating Oscar

'He's over here, in the Self-Important Person section.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Virtual Doctor

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"It's his ego growth chart."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

The Boss.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'